The return

Well it’s been forever since I updated my blog, but I’ll get right to it.
No need to go over the last four months other than to say everyone is healthy and I have started putting effort back into my portfolio for my photography business. Although the McCrillis photography website is up it is hardly what I have envisioned. I’m going to use my time off from my day job to get the flash site up and get my office completed.
I spent some time today and took a ride up to Portland, ME and visited Portland Head Light and Spring Point Light.
It was a beautiful day without a cloud in the sky, but it is February and the temps were a little hard to deal with. I used my D60 and D90 in temps below zero with the wind chill and the only tech problem I had was me and my numb fingers and face.

Spring Point Light

Shooting drops

This is how I did it.

I will not forget this is a war!

I will not forget this is a war!
As the day approaches I think of all that has happened since that fateful day. I now know the difference between concern and anguish. I am not what I was before that day and how could anyone who felt anguish rather than concern after September 11th. My mind is forever branded from the images of that day.

Powerless is how I felt to watch my fellow man destroyed. I have heard so much religious rhetoric, but it’s all passive. I’m not one of those who just had a flash of concern then just let it die. No. I broke down. I cried. I prayed. That anguish and not a fleeting moment of concern is what drove me down to my knees. I have been serving my country since 1991 because I believe in something bigger than myself, something many of us who have stood on foreign lands carrying a blued steel rod understand all to well. That the American solider is without doubt no stranger to suffering and sacrifice.

We have got to lay our lives down for God. This is a war for the souls of men! Does it matter to you that there is such a coldness sweeping the land? That’s all the devil wants to do is get the fight out of you so you won’t weep before God anymore. You can just sit and watch television and play video games while your country goes to hell or you can fight.

“We were made to fight! We were made to strive. We were made to conquer. We were made to give ourselves for something that is eternal. “ ~ Paul Washer

~We were called to advance a kingdom

I'll take your Jesus if the pay off is right

It has been a busy month with work and life in general! It always seems like things happen all at once doesn't it? I guess that's where the saying you have to take the good with the bad comes from.

Not that the weather has helped with any ones attitude either. I mean really, do any of you remember a worse summer? The weather was terrible and the sun stayed captured behind the thickest clouds I have ever seen. We tried everything to keep the kids busy and from losing our minds. Lea and I even started playing a video game call wizard 101. It helped with those wet wind driven days and we had fun doing something together since the game encourages team work.

Now school has started and I can't help but be a little frustrated that summer went by so quickly. Seems like I blinked my eyes and it was over! Lea had her first day of 3rd grade yesterday and she seems to be OK with it and Logan will have his first day tomorrow. This should make for an interesting school year with the both of them in school. I thought it was really interesting to find words from our pledge of allegiance on the back of Logan's school it gave me a little hope for the year to come and hope that some how, some way our country will bounce back from this economic down turn. We are one of those families stuck in the middle of all this. Meaning I make too much for a government hand out and hardly make enough to pay the bills. So all we have is literally hope and faith that it will all work out.

Its all gonna come... martial strife, tensions on the team, sickness, and pain don't think it strange when it comes. If you walk with Him you should not only believe, but you should also remember you "will" suffer. See you all on the Calvary road.

Fun Prioject with Lea

Well, after shooting some photo's of her Aunt Kim my little one wanted to do some. She likes the creepy stuff so we tried a few and here's what we came up with...

Peace Project

This was just for a little fun

Shooting down town

Fathers Day 2009

To my family:

Lea,
There is a lot to be said for eggs made by you. I remember the first time you made them, I couldn’t get over how light and fluffy they were and there was this taste that I just couldn’t figure out. I asked your mom if she had added anything to them and she no. I half joked it must because they were made with so much love it made them that much better. I’ve come to learn that’s exactly what made them that much better and it’s what makes life taste that much better. I love you.

Logan,
I love you for driving your hot wheels cars over my head while I’m sleeping, stealing my blankets when you’re cold, and improving my engineering skills by fixing your transformers over and over again. You know, just when I think it’s not possible for you to break anything else in the house you prove me wrong, and without that; my level of patience would never be able to expand. (Lucky for you it has.) Thanks for helping me grow as a father.

Karen,
Thanks for keeping me humble and taking care of our little family while I’m away from you guys. I often get frustrated with work, but somehow you help me keep things in perspective. It doesn’t matter if I just spent the day with General Casey, or the Vice Chairman of the joint chiefs, you’ll let me tell my tale of adventure, give me a peck on my cheek and tell me to take out the trash. Only you… ;)

There is a lot to be said for the unconditional love that a father gets from his family.

Thanks for letting me be your daddy…

New blog

I started a new blog at World Press, but will still keep this one up and running as well.

Way to go buddy!

I thought today was going to be just like any other, but that's when we get the best surprises.

No, I didn't win the lottery, or get a new job offer.. The day went something like this.

Karen went off to work and Logan opted to hang with me, but of course he was thinking we would take a ride and go wherever his little heart desired. I told him I had things to do and that he would have to wait until I finished my errands. Needless to say the boy was not happy, in fact he completely went off the deep end in true Logan fashion. What do you expect from an Aries right? I got all the way out to North Hampton and he continued to be, ummm less then well behaved. I had enough of his behavior and started back for the Port. On the way back he continued to demand things. One of the things he wanted to do was go over to the Salisbury pier and see the "police boat" this would be the harbor master boat. So about halfway home he fell asleep, and I enjoyed the 20mins of silence. I figured he would wake up a new man and all would be peaceful so I decided to head for Rings Island. Once we reached the pier the boy awoke and jumped from his seat excited that we were going to see the police boat. Well, folks it lasted about two minutes before he went right back into I'm Logan McCrillis and I'm going to do what I want to do. It didn't take much of that before I was having visions of dipping him in the river or dragging him by his heels up the pier, so for his safety and my sanity I told him to get back in the truck and we would go home and ride bikes.

As we approached the ranch he started again,"Dad, take the wheels off my bike" I said if you want to practice riding with two wheels we could do that or something to that effect. He grew angry and yelled "Dad, No! I want you to take the wheels off my bike! I can ride a two wheeler!"

I tried to tell him he will need to practice first, but he kept insistently telling me that he could ride with just the two wheels and did not need his trainers. I said "Look, dude I will help you learn how to ride with two wheels just like I taught your sister" he gave out a loud groan and said "Dad, will you just take them off", now you parents will probably be able to relate to the hot flash I got, you know the kind where you in-vision giving such a slap in the ass that it will go down in history. He would tell his grandchildren a story like this "I back talked your great granddaddy once and he slapped my behind so hard I couldn't walk for a week."

So I took a deep breath, grabbed my wrench and took the trainers off his bike. I collected all my patience or what was left after a day of them being tested, grabbed his helmet, ensured he had two heavy sweat shirts on and let him have at the now two wheeled bike. I peeked in the back of my truck just to make sure my first aid kit was ready and yes I was expecting some form of carnage..

Logan grabbed the handle bars threw his right leg over the bike, placed his right foot on the pedal and gave a push off with his left foot...................... and off he went! Yes, off he road into the distance leaving my jaw on the ground. He went about 20yrds before "jumping" off and landing on two feet. He looked back at me and yelled "Dad! See I told you I could ride a two wheeler!" I bit my lip deciding wether to knock him upside the head or do what I did and yelled back " Way to go buddy, way to go!"

I was just in shock and by the end of the day he was riding like he had been doing it for years.

He did take a few spills here and there, but I'm still shaking my head when I review the day as a whole.

I know I could have just wrote that Logan went on two wheels today, but what kind of blog would that be....

Way to go Logan, I love you!

JPG

My new love is the JPG website. What a great place to share your photo's and view others.
I have posted a few of mine and really like the idea of them giving you themes to work with. There are just so many creative people out there and it makes me want to work harder on my portrait skills or lack there of...

Check me out at JPG I only have a few pics there now, but will be posting more for voting later this weekend.

Charlie Mike

I waited to after Mothers Day to post this blog, I really didn’t feel right posting it since it (Mothers Day) is supposed to be focused on celebrating our mothers.
This day also has another meaning from me. On Mothers Day 2006 I lost one of my best friends and I wanted to take sometime to remember him. He was a great guy and a catalyst for change in my life. What many of you know is that I had quit high school at the end of my sophomore year, but what is not well know is that I went back and why.I had met Steven through another friend and instantly we were at odds we each other. We competed over everything, girls, girls, sports, and everything in between. There was however a pivotal moment in our relationship and that was on a warm summer day while we were all hanging out at a mutual friends home. Somehow we got into a heated testosterone filled debate about who was the faster sprinter. At the time Steven and I didn’t know each other real well and probably were both equally cocky SOB’s.
We decided to meet over at Fuller Track in Newburyport two weeks later and settle our little difference with a wager of fifty dollars. We both went into our own intense training cycles. I went to Salisbury Beach conducting sand sprints three times a day and a plethora of other drills used by professional athletes during this two week period. If there was one thing we were serious about it was training. At the end of the two weeks we met on a Saturday morning just after sun up. Our mutual friend Chris would signal the start of this 100m race and with that history was made…
Oh ‘ I guess you need to know who won, well that was me of course.
So how did this change my life? It was what Steven said to me after the race. He said “Dude, you have all this ability why are you wasting it”. He pointed out that after spending a few months with me  he could not figure out why I was letting life get the best of me. He said “If I were you I’d swallow my pride go and back to school.” This coming from a parent or even an aunt or uncle would have not have had even a fraction of an impact as it did coming from a friend who I respected and who I had just met on the field of battle so to speak. So because of what Steven said that day throwing that "pebble into the water" metaphorically speaking and the discussions on the topic we had for several weeks after I went back to school the following year.
I completed my junior and senior year together taking double math and english and to my mothers amazement made the honor roll as well. I entered the US Army just a few weeks after graduation and the rest is history. (or a subject for another blog)
I’m thankful that before Steven left us that I did get a chance during one of our Mt. Washington climbs to tell him how much he affected my life. I will always miss my friend, he was truly a fellow warrior in many of life’s battles.
During his memorial service I presented his mom with a picture of him standing at the base of Tuckerman’s Ravine. I knelt down next to her and said “This is a picture from one of the last times I spent with Steven.” I told her he touched a lot of lives including mine and that I loved him too. That would be the last time I mourned for Steven, yes I still get choked up when I think about him, and that’s because I loved my friend and miss those great times we had. His brother a US Army Major at the time gave a very touching eulogy and during it he explained why he placed a copy of the novel “Charlie Mike” in his casket with him. Even though his brother explained why he did this I’m sure many there could not relate to why he did this, but I could because I not only had read the book, but had also been a soldier.
Let me try to share this with you since you took the time to read this far. To sum it up "Charlie Mike" is a novel by Leonard B. Scott that speaks to the camaraderie of brothers-in-arms. For many of us (soldiers) past and present sometimes it comes down to fighting for the guy to your left and right. We know in combat and in life sometimes we lose the ones to our left and right, but we have to pick up and "Charlie Mike" (continue the mission) because the rest depend on us. One of my past commanders LTC Lloyd Mills who himself was shot and killed during a live fire exercise used to say let the dying go and we will honor them, but we will focus on the living that is what is important and that is what the fallen would want us to do.
Some of us hear God speak and I believe in my heart that God was speaking to me through Steven.
For those of you who have your faith shaken by what life throws at you I say "Charlie Mike" and pray that the Almighty keep that devil off your back.

**Shiver**

This morning I tossed back and forth as I tried to sleep, but something was keeping me from feeling warm and safe under my covers. So what was keeping me from sleeping soundly? It was the lack of warmth! We have already put away or flannel sheets for the season, I mean heck its already May 28^th and how can the outside temperature be forty degrees. Karen woke up and put and extra blanket on me knowing that I must be cold. Thinking back, it’s funny when I first met Karen she called me the heater, I could sleep outside with just the clothes on my back in fifty degree temps which is something I would do often in the army. Now years later and short a thyroid fifty degrees might as well be ten. So with that... it looks like I’ll be working on some projects around the house today and taking care of a little girl with a stiff neck who is home from school. Neither one of us are really excited about being outside today so we’ll hang tight here at the ranch while mom and Logan go on his field trip. I posted some portrait pictures of Lea that she posed for so I could work on lighting in my new little basement studio. She was such a good sport, these shots are the first in a series of shoots that Karen and Kim are helping me with. Anyone else interested in modeling can just send me a message and we can set up a time.

Skiff

I thought this weather was out of here, but with todays mild temps and cool breeze it seems I'll never put my sweat shirts away for the season. I do have to admit it Plum Island has become a much greener place in the last eleven days. I had a good morning to myself and was able to just relax a little after some serious driving this past week back and fourth to work.

Memorial Day 2009

Memorial Day,
Although I enjoy a good BBQ and will entertain just about any reason to have one and to get together with friends and relatives, I still take the time and remember the reason why General John Logan officially proclaimed Decoration Day aka Memorial Day on May 30th 1868.
His order designated this day for the purpose of strewing flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in the defense of their country. You can read the full order here GENERAL ORDER 11 Some of you even give to the VFW to show your support for Memorial Day and depending on where you donate are given a Red Poppy to wear in return for your donation, but do you know why? The short version is that it’s a tradition that was inspired by a poem by Moina Michael in 1918 called We Shall Keep the Faith. In that poem is a familiar line you may have heard which is "That blood of heroes never dies". Lord I hope that it never does.

Many of us nowadays have forgotten the meaning and traditions of Memorial Day. Memorial Day was originally on May 30th, but Congress made the day into a three-day weekend in with the National Holiday Act of 1971 this made it all the easier for people to be distracted from the spirit and meaning of the day. As the VFW stated in its 2002 Memorial Day address: "Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public nonchalant observance of Memorial Day." At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored, and neglected.

This past Friday I was invited by my daughter to attend a Memorial Day ceremony at her elementary school. Of course after working a 12 hr shift and having to be back for another 12hrs in just a few short hours after this gathering I was less than overjoyed. Mind you it was another shift of over 15yrs that I have spent serving my country.

It was, just as last year; the entire school body made their way outside marching in single file to form a half moon circle around Old Glory in front of the school. They sang patriotic songs and then called out the names of the invited guests and presented them with a little certificate thanking us for our service. I thought to myself is this Memorial Day or Veterans Day? Are we confusing our youth with what I consider an important tradition? General Order 11 clearly specifies what this day is for… its for remembering our war DEAD. Folks, I for one am far from dead. Now, while I’m on my soap box back on May 2 2000 President Clinton issued a memo that called for a return to a more traditional Memorial Day remembering our war dead. This would become The National Moment of Remembrance. Just as the memo says it is a day of national awareness and reverence, honoring those Americans who died while defending our Nation and its values. Some will debate that this should be a day to also honor our local hero's like police officers and firefighters. Well, I agree we should honor their service and in fact we do at least in the case of police officers. As a police officer myself I can tell you we have our own "week" called "National Police Week" which was May 10-19...a whole week! Let Memorial Day be for what its was intended to be......It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all for a country I love with all my heart.

I for one have no problem letting my children know that life is more than unicorns pooping out rainbows. We'll be over at the veterans cemetery where my father is buried doing a little landscaping and at 1500 listening to TAPS through my MP3 player.

I hope all of you had a great weekend and find the time on your extra day off to remember the fallen...

Still here...

No, I didn't stop blogging, but have been busy with my real job over the last seven days.

I also have a few blogs in the works and trying to get some prints ready for showing should the next opportunity present its self.  I think I'm going to go with printing and matting one of my gull pictures and my winter Numble Light picture.  

Anyway, Karen and Logan came running into the house this morning telling me to grab my camera because there was a Turkey Vulture down at Lea's bus stop so I grabbed my body and trusty 200mm and trotted down the street with them.. Enjoy.....

Training Day

I was lucky enough to get some photo subjects while checking out the local wildlife at a conservation area about 2 miles from the ranch. I was about to call it quits for the morning when a plethora of hunting dogs showed up to do some training. I thought I'd post a few here and obviously I played around with some of them using CS3. I think I shot around 120 images so I'm still sorting and editing.

First Time At Bat

What a great week for our little girl! Her first softball game was Friday afternoon and boy what a way to start. After several weeks of practice it finally came down to that pivotal life changing event, the first time up at bat. It seemed like forever as she anxiously waded through the batting line up, checked the proper fit of her helmet several times in the batter’s box, and then finally stepped up to the plate. At that point I don’t know whose heart was pounding more hers or mine. I think all of us want to see our children succeed especially if it’s at something that’s new to them. Well, I wouldn’t have to wait long, after the second strike flew by her I watched her body language intently, she showed steadfastness about her and an intensity I only see in her when this little wonder of 8yrs is determined. Her head was lowered, teeth biting the lower lip, and feet firmly planted on the ground with her eyes fixated on the pitcher.
Her team was now chanting “Let’s go Lea, Let’s go” and the energy flowed through the field as though I was at a Red Sox game. A cool spring breeze comes over the field as the pitcher let’s loose the ball and it happens, she connects and drives the ball straight down the first base line and out of the infield. A base hit! Did this just happen? I thought to myself. As I continued to look through the view finder of my camera and release the shutter as fast as it would allow me I felt the biggest warmth of joy come over me and I can’t imagine the feeling of self accomplishment she must have been feeling. She continued to maintain composer, focus, and most of all team sprit throughout the rest of the game.
As a parent I was proud of her simply for having the courage to get up at bat, try something new, and show that she could continue to have a humble heart after such a successful event. I would have been equally just of proud of her if she had struck out. However, I should point out that she provided the team with three (3) more base hits during the game and scored one run. Although her team did win the game at this level the focus is on having fun and learning about the sport. Not bad for a “First Time Up At Bat”…
Oh’ although I couldn’t be there today for "Game 2" her mother reported that the day provided similar results with Lea’s team winning and her nailing 4 more base hits, so it looks like we will have to wait a little longer before the inevitable strike out….“Let’s go Lea. Let’s go!”

So what do you do out there?

So what do you do out there? You know when you go into the wilderness to take pictures.

I guess the best way to answer that is to say I talk to God. When I find myself overstressed, overextended $$ by modern day life and frustration reaches its peak, I turn to God. Of course if you know me, I have to spend a better part of that time asking him to forgive me for my sins. It’s important to remember we all fall down and to take a line from one of my favorite movies “its how we get back up that defines us.” Those words are so true and if you take them to heart they can be a powerful inspiration for change in your life.God always seems to find ways to remind me that what we do in this world and how we walk through it affects everything. It’s kind of like dropping a pebble in a pond; the ripples extend far beyond the impact.

WOW, what’s all this you’re saying McCrillis? Have you gone all Christian crazy on us?
No, but I do realize for me there is more to life than just being a secular human being.
Don’t get me wrong I do respect the fact that everyone has the right to their beliefs or put even better there inalienable rights (natural rights). I just chose to believe in a kind living God.

I pray that those of us who do believe learn to pray first and realize our time is not the same as His and maybe then and only then we could finally understand that faith is all we need. I’m not here to shove God down anyone’s throat all I can do is share my experiences and thoughts; shake the sand out of my shoes and move on.

~ Gods love for us is the same on our best day and our worst.

Mill Pond Wildlife

This was an interesting day and much cooler than yesterday, about thirty degrees cooler to be exact.  We did manage to get the rest of the debris from the two oak trees we removed over to the compost yesterday morning well before the oppressive heat set in. After that it was movie time in the nice cool living room.

Today turned out to be a little more adventurous. After a trip down to the refuge and seeing that not much was happening there I went over to Mill Pond in West Newbury. I found a little more action there and it kept my attention for a few hours at least.  It Seems the beaver in the Southern part of the pond is building an addition, but as I moved in for a shot he caught my sent and was gone. I did manage to get three or four shots as I waded around to get a better eye on him, but nothing worth posting here. On my way I was able to sneak up on a woodpecker, some small turtles, and a few of the local bull frogs.  For me being out there connected to nature has spiritual connotations on a very basic level. 

All in all not a bad day out there, I even contemplated taking a nap out at the pond, but my hunger soon took over and eradicated that thought from my mind. Hope everyone is staying healthy and not getting too concerned over the Swine flu. So far no confirmed cases in Newburyport, at least that's the news we got from the town via the schools call back system.

Heat Wave

WOW, with temps soaring to 86F here at the ranch yesterday and today expected to do the same I completely forgot about the frost on my car just last week. I think just about everyone I spoke to was thankful to be able to shut their heat off.  Even with crude oil at $51.49 per barrel this week and expected to drop I was extremely happy to cut the heat off. 

I was able to catch this Tufted Titmouse moving into our bird house today. A pair of these characters worked all morning long collecting and ferrying nesting materials to their new quarters.  These will be our first tenants since we put up the house at the end of last spring.

Karen's new Adirondack chairs were finally assembled after a team effort getting them stained with our new favorite color "Crocodile Tears" needless to say the extremely warm weather helped speed the drying process along. These things are actually pretty comfortable. 

Earth Day 2009

So are you doing anything today or have you done anything this week in support of Earth Day.For me everyday is earth day and I try to do something each day. My daughter is always reminding me how important the earth is to us and she has a great passion for the well being of animals. We'll be tree planting today and also seeing "Earth"
I wanted to share with you my daughters new "Hero of the Earth" Sebastian Copeland some of you may have picked up on his story from myspace as did I. This mans expedition to the end of the earth is truly a nobel and inspiring one.

I dropped his mom a line last night and I received this message from her this morning:
Thank you! He needs as many people like you as possible! I am indeed proud of him - I can't imagine ever in my life even dreaming of wanting to do what he is doing, but he is on a mission for the future of the planet, and I admire him greatly for that.
Best wishes---

Please spread the word about Sebastians mission using your networks! Oh' and don't forget to send him messages of support and encouragement on his blog. Sebastian's myspace
Gods Speed Sebastian, Gods Speed....

The morning fog

After an extremely foggy ride home from work I struck gold! I took the scenic route back to the house and I could not believe the activity along Turkey Hill Rd. Hawks (Northern Harrier), Turkey Vultures, Geese, Red Wing Black Birds….It was like the entire road was alive, but guess what I didn’t have with me? That’s right, my camera! So I maintained a lawful speed, continued home and retrieved my DSLR.

So after a quick change I returned to the locations and to my amazement one of the Northern Harriers was still around.  I also had to snap a picture of this young sapling reflecting in the swamp. I thought it looked cool posted upside down...

 

The Sun

Finally some warm weather comes our way! What a day Friday was! At the cost of some valuable sleep I was sure to get outside before work. I did manage to put a dent in some well needed yard work, but I was soon over taken by the “Z” monster. I found myself simply sitting in the sun just letting the heat of that gorgeous yellow and orange planet warm my cheeks. Let me tell you after a long cold winter it was well appreciated.
Well, only a day to go before vacation and I can hardly wait to spend time with the family. How we quickly forget what is truly important and why we were put on this planet. For His pleasure is what the Bible says and I have to remind myself of that every time life throws one of its nasty curve balls. I’m 100% sure I was not put here to pay taxes, or work a full day to put oil in my tank.
It’s hard to believe that this month marked 11yrs of me working in Natick, most would reflect on the job itself, but I reflect on the driving. Somewhere around 26,000 miles a year so that’s about 286,000 miles in those 11yrs and I wonder why I have had every car problem known to man. Yes, folks I own a SUV and could be lone the source of our epic oil crisis.

Slow Start to Spring

Another day of looking for signs of spring and with temps hovering around 48F most of the morning it was hard to find any. Even the crew on the USCG Merrimack River 47' motor lifeboat were still bundled up this morning.

Of course no day would be complete if I didn't visit my friends down at the refuge ! I found the usual suspects enjoying the sun, but it seems the kestrels want to make this a test of wills.